I Definitely Need Reminders Sometimes

I feel like I have to be reminded about things a lot.  For instance, I'm terrible at remembering names.  I may meet someone, and two sentences into a conversation later, I have already forgotten it.  I've seriously considered carrying around a little notebook, so when I meet someone, I can write their name down.  Hopefully writing their name would make me think about it enough to recall it later. 

Sometimes God has to give me little reminders, too. 
Last Saturday Taylor brought me home two new little bucket calves from the feedyard.  Now I have to preface this - since we built our calf pens earlier this spring, I have had 11 bucket calves.  Even though a few of those calves hadn't had the odds in their favor, they had survived and grown, and I had been able to take each of them to market.  And during that time I think my head had gotten a little inflated along with my pride.  Well... pride goeth before a fall.

Anyway, Taylor brought me home two new bucket calves... One was a little, bitty bull calf.  He had been born a little premature.  I'm guessing he maybe weighed 30 lbs.  My cat could reach his back when it stood on its hind legs.  The other calf was a regular-sized grey and white heifer. 
I knew the bull would have a long row to hoe, so I wanted to give him a fitting, strong name.  I decided to name him Fawkes. 
I'm a little bit of a nerd, and I love the Harry Potter books.  One of the main characters in the book has a Phoenix (a bird that dies and is then reborn from its ashes) named Fawkes.  I told Taylor that I was going to help this calf be "reborn" from the ashes of a weak, premie into a strong, healthy baby calf.  I also figured that with a little work, I could get the heifer (I named her Hedwig, also out of Harry Potter to keep the theme going) drinking and going well, too.

Hedwig

The first time I fed Fawkes, he was so little and weak that he could only suck an 1/8th of a bottle.  By the second day we had to drench (tube feed) him that way he could get a little nutrition and strength built up, and it seemed to work.  The next time he was able to drink nearly 1/2 a bottle on his own and he seemed to be doing very well for his size and condition.
The first two times I fed Hedwig, she sucked her bottle down like she was afraid she would never get to eat again, and I was thinking "Alright, this is going to be simple with her."

At this point, God reminded me that it is not all about me; it is not all about what I can do for these calves.  It is about what He can do through me to care for these babies. 
Day - two Hedwig, my "easy" calf, decided to quit drinking.  She refused to suck. Period.  She also started getting sick.  So we gave her a shot, and I expected that the next day she would be feeling a little better and want to at least drink some  of her bottle.  I was wrong.  Not only was she unwilling to drink her milk, but while I was standing there, holding her bottle, taking a break from trying to get her to nurse, she walks over to her water bucket and sucks down a bunch of water.  I've never had a calf that wanted water but didn't want milk.  I was perplexed and very frustrated.  She acted the same way the following day.

At least Fawkes seemed to be doing pretty well.  He was regularly drinking about half a bottle at a time, and I was thinking that we were out of the woods and into more of a lightly timbered area :)  But I still didn't know what to do about Hedwig.

Finally one night it hit me.  I am not all powerful.  Go figure.  I do not have the power to make a calf drink its milk when it doesn't want to.  And there are certain precautions I can take and medicines I can give, but I don't have the power to save a calf's life.  That power resides in God's hands.  I can allow God to work through me; I can be a steward of His creatures, but it is not about me. It is about Him.
The next morning I prayed, Lord, Hedwig is Your calf.  I release her to Your care, Lord.  Then I walked outside and she sucked down every drop in her bottle.   Since then she has done a lot better.  There are still a couple of times when she is not enthused about her bottle, but I leave it in God's hands and usually by the next feeding she is hungry and ready to eat.

As it turns out Fawkes wasn't out of the woods.  He got the scours one night and unfortunately he was just too little to handle any kind of sickness because by the next morning he was gone.  I hated losing him, but I had to remind myself to leave things in God's hands.

I did get another new little calf.  Her name is Luna.  She is a little bigger than Fawkes was.  Tonight I had to give her a shot, so hopefully she'll get to feeling better soon.

A scripture that really talked to me lately was Faith that does nothing is dead! James 2:26  God wants more than for us to just believe in Him.  It's not a game of hide-and-seek where if we "find" God, we win and we can go on living the way we were.  No, having faith means we give our lives to God.  We live for Him and allow Him to work through us and we share His love with others.  We just have to give God the chance to tell us what He wants us to do and then go do it.

Hope you all have a great week and don't be afraid to leave things in His hands.
Lyndee

P.S. It snowed out here a tiny bit one night, and now I'm all excited for Christmas!! :)